Not Another Open Letter

Dear All,

I would like to address a popular topic which created a rage because an actress chose to voice her opinion through Twitter and was targeted and insulted. '#SelfieWithDaughter'. An initiative endorsed by our Prime Minister. Clearly, he's a social media enthusiast, but who isn't these days? 

We live in a democracy; no one is denied an opinion here but I honestly don't get people's problems. I know posting a photo on Facebook with a hashtag is not going to make a world of a difference. It's not going to drastically reduce female infanticide either. 

But there is one misogynist father out there who cursed his wife in the morning because she didn't bear a son. The one who does puja every morning, begging God to bestow him with an heir to his royal legacy that is as great as a Kirana Store somewhere in Malad. Maybe that disgruntled father will see all these updates posted by several proud fathers (like mine) and maybe he will get affected. Maybe he will feel something; maybe he will learn something. There are several maybes in my sentence but there are endless possibilities.

A cheesy Hindi quote comes to my mind which is so apt in this scenario, "Boond boond se sagar banta hai". It's effortless, it's widespread. If it were Daughter's Day, you would post it; but since it's a campaign propagated by the government, you criticise it. All in all, I know change is required at a grass-root level and probably, this movement's contribution will be minuscule but it's not hurting anyone! If you don't want to participate, don't. No one is forcing you. But mocking people who are participating, is just not done. 

This is my opinion. I am open towards any initiative that will reduce the patriarchy in our society and improve the lives of women who are subjected to constant patronisation just because they belong to the so-called 'weak' sex. 

Regards,

Ria

This post will change your next stay in Goa!

2013.

A year when folks were busy calculating their monthly expenditures, reading about inflation, high taxes and low consumption, a silent revolution was on in the streets of Goa.

October to June is the season when the fisherman can row their boats into the deep Arabian Sea for their daily bread. But what about July to September?

Shyam Nagwenkar, father to two children, husband to an accommodating wife, and owner of a property in Calangute, Goa, lived a life which was only slightly more cushioned than a hand to mouth existence. While pennies weren't exactly being pinched, the want for a greater level of comfort, which only money can buy, was not unjustified. In a decision that would change their lives, Shyam who was on the verge of putting the property on sale, stumbled upon a definite plot point in (t)his story.

Enter Roomnhouse, Shyam met with Rakesh Singh, founder of Roomnhouse, in a manner so casual only a Goan could pull off. Rakesh convinced him to rent out extra rooms within the property to travelers who wanted to experience Goa beyond the brochure of the best churches, booze and blue waves crashing on the seashore. To the ones who wanted to know what it was like to 'Live Like A Local.'

Today, Shyam makes 4L a year through his sales from the boat and at the same time, an additional 4L though renting his property.

Roomnhouse has not only made a few hundred lives easier, but also given rise to a new section in the market - micro entrepreneurs! Because the big bucks aren't the only bucks around! One can always start small and go big eventually.More and more people have now started professionally converting their second home into an additional source of income.

All that we really need is to take one small step to change the face of our financial make up. So go on, start small, visit www.roomnhouse.com and change the course of your financial future, one room at a time.

The Engineering Dilemma

Fun Facts

• Only 47% of Indian graduates are employable
• Average Indian Graduate Salary - 2.5 lpa
• 6 Lac+ engineers graduate every year

In the Indian context, everybody is aware how difficult it is for a graduate engineer to secure a job in the current market. More than 50% of engineers that graduate every year are struggling without jobs only. This is mainly because the engineering scenario in India has been highly IT dependent and since the top IT companies started to fail, hiring ceased leaving lacs of engineers jobless.

So many of them opted to go for higher education to increase their chances of getting an employment, living in a new country and the chance of making a lot more money than how much one would make in India. But is all this really worth it? At Rs 62, an average fee for Masters in the US would cost about 30-35 lacs and one would start out for a salary not higher than $80,000.

So in effect, you would be taking at least 3 year to start saving up money and earning some profit out of it. True that the lifestyle that you'd live in the US is much better than in India but there are always a few factors that you need to consider before going abroad.

• Strong course which has a good Alumni network
• Avoiding Specialized Courses
• Beware of 1 year course ( if without work exp)

The smart way out of this is trying to understand whether you really want to pursue a career on the technical side of life or the management. We often hear of Masters students who at the end of it, admit to not enjoying their work as much as they thought they would. The only way to counter this is by working for a period of 2 years trying to understand what you're passionate about and then following it up with a Masters. This will also help you find internships and landing up with a good job post completion of your coursework.

If you did not enjoy the work you did for 2 years and you wish to shift your field. Make sure you take up coursework in the field of your interest prior to applying for a Masters or an MBA. It is important to gain experience in the field of your choice( in case of a shift: engineering to Marketing/Finance) as it will help you support yourself whilst you struggle for an internship.

Most importantly, don't run behind the trends you see on blogs and magazines about colleges and coursework. A lot of it is paid media and you need to be wary of the consequences of taking up specialized courses without prior work experience in the same. Experience the work yourself, if you're passionate about it, then follow up with a Masters.

Modi's rise - The Big Idea of Bhartiya Janata Party

The countdown was set on September 13th 2013 when in a very bold move by Bhartiya Janata Party, Narendra Modi was named the Prime Ministerial Candidate of India. The countdown was set when election commission set 16th May as the final date for counting and declaration of results.

Narendra Modi ,the Prime Minister is not  only going to help create good governance but also create an environment of meritocracy and performance based pay for the years to come. He castigates caste based politics and the new BJP could be based on the this very foundation of Perform or Perish.

For example, Modi in Gujarat, Dr Raman Singh in Chhattisgarh, Shivraj Singh Chauhan in MP, Vasundhara Raje in Rajasthan & Manohar Parrikkar in Goa are governing their respective states like independent countries towards the path of prosperity and in the process, each leader is nurturing himself/herself.

In a top MNC, usually the most successful Director of a subsidiary is promoted to become the CEO at HQ. Similarly, this year, Modi, who was perceived by the people as the most successful CM has been promoted to PM. The reason such a procedure is followed is because the experience & wisdom developed while managing the subsidiary will come handy later and moreover, since it is merit based, it becomes an incentive for every director to work hard (compete) resulting in overall development of the company.

One of the main advantages of such a structure is that when the CEO retires later, the company management (board of directors) will not be clueless because there will already be a handful of successful directors (from each subsidiary) to choose from. Conflicts will be minimal because the selection would be based on merit and the transition will be smooth because it will be an incremental effort for the director of the subsidiary to step up to the CEO role. Similarly, when Modi retires, there will be plethora of options (Shivaraj Singh Chauhan, Raman Singh and others). A State CM promoted to PM is anyday better than the son of the PM assigned the post.

Compare this with other political parties. What is going to happen to Congress after Sonia retires? BSP? DMK/AIADMK? TMC? Will the transition be smooth, will the selection be merit based, will it be in the best interest of the nation?











Some new projects unleashed by the BJP State governments in the past 6 months.

1) http://nayaraipur.com/nrda/ - Developing Raipur - Chattisgarh - CM Raman Singh 

2) Neemuch Solar Plant - Largest in India - Madhya Pradesh - CM Shivraj Singh Chouhan 

3) Going away with VIP culture - Rajasthan -  CM Vasundhara Raje

And much more..

Demystifying the Net Run Rate - Mi Vs RR #IPL

Last night, Mumbai Indians did something which was totally unbelievable! A red- blooded match which a lot of people would compare to the WC 11' finals was eventually won by Mumbai Indians on the same ground as India did. Not to forget with a SIX!

Great job by Corey Anderson, Amabati Rayudu and of course 26 year old Aditya Tare who showed his grit by hitting a Six off Faulkners ball at a time when Mumbai needed it the most.

I saw a few status updates by cranky Rajasthan Royals fans who were upset about 14.3 over and 14.4.

Net Run Rate: 

Net run rate = (number of runs scored/number of overs faced) - (number of runs conceded/number of overs bowled)

Suppose India scored 1066 runs off 223 overs and conceded 974 runs off 238.2 overs. India net run rate (NRR) is therefore calculated as follows:

• (1066/223) - (974/238.333) = 4.780 - 4.086 = 0.694

Note: 238.2 overs, meaning 238 completed overs and two further balls, was converted to 238.333 for the purposes of calculation.

In the 2012 Indian Premier League (IPL), Pune Warriors scored 2321 runs off 319.2 overs and conceded 2424 runs off 310 overs. Pune Warriors' NRR is therefore:

• (2321/319.333) - (2424/310) = 7.268 - 7.819 = -0.551

If a team is bowled out before completing their full quota of 20 or 50 overs (depending on whether it is a Twenty20 or one day match), that full quota is used in the net run rate calculation. For example, if the team batting first is bowled out for 140 after 35 overs of a 50-over game and the opposition reaches 141 in 32 overs, the NRR calculation for that match goes like this:

• (140/50) - (141/32) = 4 - 4.406 = -0.406

Mumbai Indians equalized with Rajasthan on 14.3 overs with a score of 189. That made the difference between two Teams as 0. Given that Mumbai Indians had to still win the match, if they score anything more than 2 runs that would increase their numerator(Scored by MI) and decrease the numerator of RR (Scored against them) 

With the SIX! Tare put to rest Rajasthan Royals dream of getting into Play offs.

I hope we won't be seeing more cribbing on Facebook. 

Now don't start writing that the match was fixed and Dawood Ibrahim - Blah..Blah.. Bullshit.

Mumbai Indians WON and Rajasthan Royals lost. END OF STORY. GO HOME.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejG5vJnVCbE

Items of the past

It's just been over 4 months that I have been indulging in Market Research and Advertising and it has been a wonderful journey. Learning from the likes of Mr. Arvind Vinayak who is a leading professor from Xaviers Institute of Communication and now my Dean at Northpoint Centre Of Learning has been enriching. Having said that, this dynamic environment has actually helped me to think a lot more differently than ever before.

So, here are 3 key daily use items that may become obsolete in the years to come. 

                                                                           Tooth paste


Believe it or not, the focus is turning towards removing the everyday items that add to your work. You open the cap for the paste. Shut it. Brush your teeth. Gargle with water. And even after that we use, Listerine, chewing gums et al.  Have you visited a dentist recently? If yes, you've just indulged yourself with the technology that would replace toothpaste.  Just gargle your way away with the power spray in your mouth scaring the plaque away forever.





Shampoo

                  
How many of you find it boring to wash your heads every day with shampoo and clean it with water? You will be surprised to know that work is already underway to define a new type of shampoo which is almost like  a hair gel or a hair spray that you apply and forget. NO NEED FOR WATER. NO LATHER WHATSOEVER.






                         
  Soap

In India and across the world, the fight has been around India and across the world about the effects of Hard Water Vs Soft Water on the usage of Soap. Scientists around the world and even FMCG companies are spending their millions of dollars to come out with the right kind of mix for a soap which is not a solid soap but a liquid soap! I understand that there are a few in the market but the volume-price/quantity is much higher for a liquid soap Vs a Solid Soap. The Liquid Soap that we would see in the future would require just 4 drops to wash our entire bodies off. (Reminds me of the archaic Ujala Advertisement- Char Boondo Wala)




Having said all of this, I would like to reiterate that there views are personal and there is no guarantee that any of this would be available in the market in the next 5 years. But if it does, don't forget its just the Wheel Of Evolution is playing its role and in another 50 years, we might be exposed to even more advanced products rendering the above items useless!





PS: The idea of toothpaste being replaced by spray belongs is a prediction made by Mr. Arvind Vinayak. 

Daily Use Items That Will Be Obsolete in 10 Years!

It's just been over 4 months that I have been indulging in Market Research and Advertising and it has been a wonderful journey. Learning from the likes of Mr. Arvind Vinayak who is a leading professor from Xaviers Institute of Communication and now my Dean at Northpoint Centre Of Learning has been enriching. Having said that, this dynamic environment has actually helped me to think a lot more differently than ever before.

So, here are 3 key daily use items that may become obsolete in the years to come. 

                                                                           Tooth paste


Believe it or not, the focus is turning towards removing the everyday items that add to your work. You open the cap for the paste. Shut it. Brush your teeth. Gargle with water. And even after that we use, Listerine, chewing gums et al.  Have you visited a dentist recently? If yes, you've just indulged yourself with the technology that would replace toothpaste.  Just gargle your way away with the power spray in your                                                                                    mouth scaring the plaque away forever.

Shampoo

                  
How many of you find it boring to wash your heads every day with shampoo and clean it with water? You will be surprised to know that work is already underway to define a new type of shampoo which is almost like  a hair gel or a hair spray that you apply and forget. NO NEED FOR WATER. NO LATHER WHATSOEVER.







                         
  Soap

In India and across the world, the fight has been around India and across the world about the effects of Hard Water Vs Soft Water on the usage of Soap. Scientists around the world and even FMCG companies are spending their millions of dollars to come out with the right kind of mix for a soap which is not a solid soap but a liquid soap! I understand that there are a few in the market but the volume-price/quantity is much higher for a liquid soap Vs a Solid Soap. The Liquid Soap that we would see in the future would require just 4 drops to wash our entire bodies off. (Reminds me of the archaic Ujala Advertisement- Char Boondo Wala)

Having said all of this, I would like to reiterate that there views are personal and there is no guarantee that any of this would be available in the market in the next 5 years. But if it does, don't forget its just the Wheel Of Evolution is playing its role and in another 50 years, we might be exposed to even more advanced products rendering the above items useless!

PS: The idea of toothpaste being replaced by spray belongs is a prediction made by Mr. Arvind Vinayak. 

'upto' 50% OFF

As the title suggests, in this point I’m going to rant about the lavish sales all these popular brands are having. To begin with, the sign boards. Although they call it psychology, I guess it’s in our Desi mentality to get attracted to discounts and signboards that shout, ‘SALE’. I’m not even going to deny, I fall for it. Every time.

Talking from a semi-shopaholic perspective, there is something beguiling about these sales. I recently visited The Palladium Mall in Mumbai for a quick shopping spree and the following were my findings:

1)   There are more people than clothes. (TIP: Never ever go shopping to Mumbai malls on weekends. Unless you like grinding with old aunties who think they’re hot)

 2)   As I said above, in malls one shall find middle-aged, forty-something Moms strutting around in their wedged heels and skin-tight jeans trying to fit into something that was meant for an 18 year old. It’s just an observation but the odds are that she’s coloured her hair blonde.

 3)   Whatever you like is either not available in your size, out of stock or grabbed by some $%^c# after you have eyed it, liked it and are walking towards it.

 4)   Stores have more to offer during sales than on regular days. HOW? Talking from observation, I strongly suspect that stores like Zara and even Mango put up low quality clothing (Like the stuff that you find on the streets) on sale just by adding the tag and also bumping the price up by about a grand. Watch out, folks.

 5)   Talking about tricks and signboards, I made another observation in Zara. The signboards above the clothing racks read for eg: ‘Rs 1390’ with a tiny, illegible ‘onwards’ next to it. I mean, seriously? Next what? ‘Rs 100 onwards’?

 6)   The queues outside the trial rooms and cash counters are longer than the Great Wall of China.
 7)   The enticing 50% off that they show off proudly outside the store is applicable not even to a meager 5% of the stock that is put up. 

I bet most of you have already observed some of the aforementioned. Even so, we go, spend thousands and return home with smug smiles on our faces as we dump all the shopping bags on the couch. There must be something, right?

When I met Bala Saheb Thackeray...

The year was 2011 and I had just come back from watching the movie X-Men:First Class with my friends. I was told to reach Kalanagar directly and my parents would pick up from there and we'd go and meet Bala Saheb Thackeray. I lived in blissful oblivion and even though I had  deep interest in politics, I never bothered to look up how great this man was.

We finally entered the hallowed gates of Mathoshree and were greeted by a string of bodyguards,waiting to frisk us.I thought to myself, Oh yes! I am going to meet Bala Saheb and I am carrying guns with me. The minute my mother saw him she broke into tears and a cry of joy emerged. This cry was very similar to that done by Jaya Bachchan when she sees Shah Rukh in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. So I went and touched his feet while Uddhav Sir stood took pictures of us together; a good photographer that he is.So Bala Saheb asked me where I was coming from. I told him about the movie and I was thoroughly amazed to know that he had already watched the movie. We discussed about the movie and he told me that I need to do a lot of self pondering to realize what I am meant to do in life and how this movie can be taken up as a case study to understand how human minds work. He told me that he loved Wolverine and the movie was definitely as the name suggests, 'First Class'.

Tea was served and we sat down discussing politics and I told him about my inclination of getting into politics and someday heading the country.We decided to test ourselves and undertake a test to see if what we were doing was really what we were meant to do. We drew up a model which we fondly called,

'The X-Men Self Realization Model’. He drew the sketches of the different characters in the movie while I made a list of things.I agree it wasn't one of the most earnest and intelligent discourse. But Bala Saheb was really fun to talk to and he was very engaging. Very cogent, Trust me!

Given below is the model and I'd like to ask everyone to pick up 2 characters from the one's given below. The results are posted below the picture of Bala Saheb Thackeray- Shiv Sena Supremo.

• Charles Xavier: The telepathic leader and founder of the X-Men.
• Erik Lensherr / Magneto:A mutant capable of manipulating and generating electromagnetic fields.
• Sebastian Shaw:He has the power of absorbing and redirecting kinetic and radiated energy.
• Mystique:A shape-shifting mutant and Charles Xavier's childhood friend.
• Beast:A scientist who is transformed into a frightening-looking mutant in an attempt to cure himself, but is kind at heart.
• Sean Cassidy / Banshee:A mutant capable of ultrasonic screaming,
• Gambit: Gambit possesses the ability to mentally create, control and manipulate pure kinetic energy to his every whim and desire.
• Wolverine: Do I need to describe him?

RESULTS:

1. Charles Xavier: Highly intelligent but reserved.You define a person who is in no need to show how smart he is. Simply brilliant with your work and very humble.
2. Eric Lehnser/Magneto: Raw and the need to control, dominating and very vengeful. Highly commanding and needs people to adhere to his demands.
3. Sebastian Shaw: Arrogance is a characteristic of your personality. You know you have everything but the fact that you can control something makes you wonder you can control everything.If you come down a bit at the level of general mass it would do real good to you.
4. Mystique:Feel the need to keep changing yourself?Not happy with how you are? May be that's why you chose this character.Also, a constant hunger for change is a dominant characteristic of this person.
5. Beast:A people's person and loved by most.You too have the urge to be powerful yet you're very happy with your inner self. You're that person who values one's inner self more than what you see outside.
6. Banshee: Very very creative. Chooses to go by the path nobody would want to go. Not crazy about power but wants to stand out in the crowd.Unique!
7. Gambit:Here comes the stylish one.Who is very conscious about one's appearance. Not a valedictorian, perhaps love for stardom. Women are definitely mad about you! 
8. Wolverine:Hurt and brooding looks.You stand for the raw sensuality that most women look out for.If a woman has chosen this character then you're that person who's just fancied by the way he carries himself.Its not the need for power that dominates your personality but the want for good to triumph over evil.

So I asked Bala Saheb which one he had chosen and I was indeed bewildered by his choice of characters. Bala Saheb chose Banshee and Magneto! Surprised aren't you? Now I was completely sure and our claims that this model is effective were validated by Bala Saheb's choice.

What you saw on the stage was exactly what Bala Saheb was in real life. His characteristic speeches, which were intelligently peppered with substance and laced with wit and sarcasm bordering on vulgarity which finds no parallel in the political spectrum, mesmerized the youth. Just when I was about to ask him to say a few lines from his favorite speech, I was rudely awaken by my mother. Her morning quarrel with Manisha (Our maid) awoke me from my deep slumber.And the dream of sitting next to Bala Saheb was shattered. Today being 18th of November, Bala Saheb being no more...

Respect to the man whose one call would awaken lacs of people in Maharashtra and ring bells all the way up to Delhi.
An Enigma I shall never forget!

Don't know which speech of his to listen? Just check out his oratory skills in this video.Bala Saheb Thackeray Speech

PS: The X-Men Self-Realization model still stands true as I have already experimented in on at least 30 people with about 90% accuracy.
You're free to criticize and I request everyone to please CRITICIZE my writings by leaving an ANONYMOUS comment below this article. ANONYMOUS if you're intimidated by me.

The Female Story on Facebook!

I have always wondered why women get more ‘likes’ on Facebook as compared to men? Although I have been on Facebook for about 5 years now, I tend to underestimate the power of it and initially was really skeptical about the whole idea. I never thought Facebook would last beyond 4 years and I was pretty convinced that it would eventually follow the same suit as Orkut.

And here we are, almost 8 years after the launch of this mastermind platform called ‘Facebook’, glued to it day in and day out. Now, there are cell phones with special click button especially for Facebook but not a special click button to the Helpline. Funny, isn't it? How one piece of technology and innovation can alter our lives!

However, all’s not well for the people on Facebook. There are the ‘Social Butterflies’ with over 5,000 friends but can hardly remember the names of 100. Facebook has been able to gather crowd from various age groups. The minimum age required to join Facebook is 13. Even so, there are children below the age 12 who are hooked on to Facebook to play the free ‘cool’ games and bombard everyone on their lists with game requests. We also have our Old Folk who are utterly captivated by the beauty of Facebook and are going gaga about it. The fact that the oldies can connect to their long-lost friends (Of course those who are still alive.) is very fascinating to them. Women tend to put up pictures to appease their friends and fish for compliments. Young girls often mistake Facebook for a personal diary and pour out their puberty-fuelled emotions. Boys, on the other hand, try to display their Macho side even if does not exist.

Gone are the days when you'd have to actually call up people to ask where they were and what they were doing. Just recently, I had this friend from college who messaged his mother saying he was busy with class and the very next moment his mother liked his Facebook post which declared, 'XXX Is at IMAX with Sexy Lady (Name Undisclosed).'

So how much do we believe what we see on Facebook?

We (Chinmay & Ria) decided to conduct a quick experiment. Both of us put up the exact same status on our respective Facebook pages and gave it some time to check out how many people will actually our status.
Our main aim was to prove that women generally evoke more response on Facebook than men.

The status:

'Success is like a fart.

It only bothers people when it's not their own.'

Our findings suggested the following:

•  Ria Shenoy ended up with 21 more likes than Chinmay Shenoy
•  Nobody commented on Chinmay's status but there was 1 comment on Ria's.

Now, this is something we got from the results but according to the predictions or the actual ratio what should have been the real output? 

•  Chinmay has 1950 friends on Facebook whereas Ria has 1069  thus  Chinmay has almost 82% more friends than Ria.
• If Chinmay got 14 likes then the according to the prediction, Ria should have gotten 8 likes (7.69  to be precise) and nothing more.
• Furthermore, Ria ended up getting 35 likes and that is 27 likes more than what was predicted being almost 438% higher!

This is a two part series and all our findings along with the conclusion will be highlighted in the next post.
The second part will include:
a) How differently people react to serious as well as a stupid status updates.
b) The kind of people who like our status.

Why did I think about this? In case you didn't know already, there are some geniuses out there who like their own status! I found a Facebook group which gives the perfect explanation for this ridiculous behaviour, "Liking your own status is like Hi5ing yourself in public"

Sometimes, Ignorance is NOT Bliss

I asked a friend if he read the newspaper and he replied, ‘Yes of course. I read Bombay Times everyday’. Mon cheri, unless you are enrolling for a Bollywood Trivia Quiz or you are one of the few people who are interested in where the ‘cool’ Page 3 crowd is partying, Bombay Times is not news. The only reason I use it is to check movie timings.

The youth are not expected to read every inch of the newspaper or know what’s happening in some remote African country. But it is really shameful if you are well aware of the brand of underwear Kareena Kapoor is wearing and have no idea who the 13^th President of India is. The first thing the youth of our nation need to do is get off Facebook and get a reality check.

Television news channels like ‘IndiaTV’ have managed to make a mockery of all other respectable news channels. 

 

News Anchors are supposed to give an unbiased view of the political situation in the country. However, many a time we see them asking questions motivated by prejudices. How are we to form an opinion of our own if we don’t see both sides of the story?

When we think of youth-led media we only think of MTV, Channel V and a host of other music channels. The ‘M’ in MTV is long gone now and all they air are mindless reality shows which I personally feel, will lead to the decadence of our intellectual capabilities.

Take an average sixteen-year-old boy for example. Do you think he would want to watch a 40-something Old Uncle talk about the current state of the economy rather than watching a 20-something in a miniskirt? (What she’s talking about automatically becomes interesting to them). So why not get the pretty girl to talk about something relevant?

What I am trying to say is, we should make the youth enlighten the youth. After all, who understands the sorrows of puberty better than an adolescent himself. 

Rein Rain's Reign

So the rains seem to have arrived and there’s no running away. According to me, the only reason to want rains is because without it, I would have to spend October to December suffering constant water cuts.

To make you more aware of the fact, there is Facebook where my dear friends have now turned into weather reporters. You don’t need to put up ‘Rains <3’ or ‘Weather :D’ every time it starts drizzling, we have a window for crying out loud!

Okay, I agree that after 3 months of scorching heat and sunblock, the clouds do prove to be a relief. But can you handle this gloomy, depressing weather for the next 4 whole months?

Besides, it’s not just the melancholic sky. I haven’t even begun to describe the main problem yet. The Rain.

I don’t have an issue with water falling on my head and body, really. It’s just that I’d rather have that happen in the bathroom than when I’m well-dressed and ready to go out.

The monsoon is a lucky time for roadside perverts who ogle at women. They hit their jackpot when a girl is dressed in white, walking on the street and it happens to rain. It’s a treat to their lecherous eyes.

Another thing beyond my comprehension is how anyone can find rains romantic. I don’t deny the fact that everything looks beautiful during the rains but that’s only when I’m in the comforts of my home. Ask the poor desperados who can’t seem to find a room and find it appropriate to get to second base under an umbrella in their neighbourhood garden.

The next move, according to protocol is for newspapers and magazines to go and interview jobless celebrities about how they spend their monsoon. I can assure you, the only answer you’re going to get is “Drinking Hot chai and eating bhajiyas.” I mean wow, you’re so amazingly innovative, nobody has ever thought of doing that before.

It’s needless to remind you that the maximum number of diseases that spread are during the monsoon and every time you think of eating something off the street, your mother’s admonishing voice will play in your head warning you about the threats of consuming outside food during monsoon.

To all the monsoon-lovers, if you like the rains so much you should like the filth too. I mean, isn’t it a delight to have disgusting muck on your clothes and shoes? You must also love the annoyingly large number of flies that find a home in yours. Especially the enormous, blue ones that find it appropriate to share your food.

Don’t even get me started on the traffic jams and the mess the BMC creates. Abandoning past projects during the monsoon is what they specialize in. The numerous potholes are maddening. You don’t need to go to a theme park to experience the “Bumpy Ride”, just drive on Mumbai roads.

The only time I’m going to stop my rant is when people finally admit that everything is NOT hunky dory during the rains. I know that there are very few people who are going to support me on this matter. Call me a cynic but I am one of the few who don’t like the rains much. But there’s no harm in voicing your opinion, is there?

Stupefying Bombed-Bay

When it is dark in the east, it is light in the west; when things are dark in the south there is still light in the north.

-Anonymous 

The engine roars, gears meshed with a growl and thunk. The jungle. The menace.


That's the Traffic in Mumbai for you. Here, honking doesn't signify that the bust is about to start, the only indicator you're going to get is a BEST bus driver who scowls at you and menacingly spits out a jet of vivid red betel juice. 

The bridges in Mumbai have done no good but added to the woes of the already deteriorating traffic conditions in Mumbai. The smoulders of shame and guilt flames into anger and a fist-tightening rage at the deceitful approach the government has. 

Is this what we pay the endless amount of taxes for? Politicians and government workers were supposed to practice altruism but what we really get to see is a nonchalant attitude. 

The egregious condition of roads makes me feel like the vehicles have suddenly burst into a ballistic dance as the buses and automobiles churn through the roads of Mumbai with astonishing efficiency. The fact that with great ease and an awe-inspiring laxness we still manage to bring into power the same goons is really esoteric. 

Striking a perfect balance between having a bovine placidity in their face and posture and yet a stern countenance, a great deal of money and a lot of respect (famous or infamous, who cares?) they are able to earn. 

I really wonder what future we are headed for as the older generations are not upright, how can you expect the younger generations to respect them? 
It is really difficult to make them understand that a lifetime of good is really not enough but a single day of evil is too much. 

The 'taxiwalas' are the ones who really make our lives miserable. Being the sole breadwinners, they wade through the traffic even faster. It is as if they are racing against time, like an NFS Underground - Reality Version. At times, they move at an exasperatingly slow pace.


The Two-wheelers: It's my road you freaks I takes to ply on these roads with my majestic riding styles. If there is traffic on the road, no problem, I can still jump onto the footpath with ease and ride through malevolently. Helmets? What for? I am not going to die. Look at the traffic in Mumbai. There are remote chances that I would even be able to cross 30 on these roads, so how can I die? This indefinite ignorance and indifference has been a real cause for concern. Nonetheless, having a two-wheeler seems to be the easiest mode of transport. 
The four-wheelers: The most exotic place to be at even though you're in Mumbai would definitely be your four-wheeler. The clandestine affairs that start and end inside the rigid chassis of your four wheeler. So many ways you can really make the experience inside your four wheeler a memorable one. 


1) Windows rolled up (sounds cool, no?)

2) The darkest possible tints ( Mafiosa) 

Be it the traffic or the politicians, Mumbai as well as India as a whole seems to be in a very big mess. The callous behavior of Mamata Banerjee though unmatched to that by Shah Rukh Khan after his team won the IPL just shows how domineering a state head can be just to pave way for another successful term as the Chief Minister of West Bengal and the head of Trinamool Congress.

 3) The heaviest and the loudest system which would literally make an outsider feel some kind of drumming in their skin.

4) Political party sticker is a must. How else can you escape the legitimate goons? (The Pandus) The conjuring trick that palms and conceals the hundred rupee note with skill. The Pandu then reciprocates your gesture with a guileless smile, like the one shown by an infant. 

5) The endless, intense moments of passion and 'lurve' really makes me envy and literally plead to my dad to give me one damn car. I really don't care if it's a Maruti or an Aston Martin. I just need it for the quality time I can spend in it.

God bless India, I really don't know where it is heading but surely India economy is heading to an Apocalypse far more severe in nature than the 21st December 2012. 

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