Rein Rain's Reign

So the rains seem to have arrived and there’s no running away. According to me, the only reason to want rains is because without it, I would have to spend October to December suffering constant water cuts.

To make you more aware of the fact, there is Facebook where my dear friends have now turned into weather reporters. You don’t need to put up ‘Rains <3’ or ‘Weather :D’ every time it starts drizzling, we have a window for crying out loud!

Okay, I agree that after 3 months of scorching heat and sunblock, the clouds do prove to be a relief. But can you handle this gloomy, depressing weather for the next 4 whole months?

Besides, it’s not just the melancholic sky. I haven’t even begun to describe the main problem yet. The Rain.

I don’t have an issue with water falling on my head and body, really. It’s just that I’d rather have that happen in the bathroom than when I’m well-dressed and ready to go out.

The monsoon is a lucky time for roadside perverts who ogle at women. They hit their jackpot when a girl is dressed in white, walking on the street and it happens to rain. It’s a treat to their lecherous eyes.

Another thing beyond my comprehension is how anyone can find rains romantic. I don’t deny the fact that everything looks beautiful during the rains but that’s only when I’m in the comforts of my home. Ask the poor desperados who can’t seem to find a room and find it appropriate to get to second base under an umbrella in their neighbourhood garden.

The next move, according to protocol is for newspapers and magazines to go and interview jobless celebrities about how they spend their monsoon. I can assure you, the only answer you’re going to get is “Drinking Hot chai and eating bhajiyas.” I mean wow, you’re so amazingly innovative, nobody has ever thought of doing that before.

It’s needless to remind you that the maximum number of diseases that spread are during the monsoon and every time you think of eating something off the street, your mother’s admonishing voice will play in your head warning you about the threats of consuming outside food during monsoon.

To all the monsoon-lovers, if you like the rains so much you should like the filth too. I mean, isn’t it a delight to have disgusting muck on your clothes and shoes? You must also love the annoyingly large number of flies that find a home in yours. Especially the enormous, blue ones that find it appropriate to share your food.

Don’t even get me started on the traffic jams and the mess the BMC creates. Abandoning past projects during the monsoon is what they specialize in. The numerous potholes are maddening. You don’t need to go to a theme park to experience the “Bumpy Ride”, just drive on Mumbai roads.

The only time I’m going to stop my rant is when people finally admit that everything is NOT hunky dory during the rains. I know that there are very few people who are going to support me on this matter. Call me a cynic but I am one of the few who don’t like the rains much. But there’s no harm in voicing your opinion, is there?